Embracing Vulnerability
In the dimly lit corners of our minds, we often grapple with struggles that are difficult to put into words. Today, I’m breaking the silence to share my journey with anxiety. It’s not an easy story to tell, but it’s a story worth sharing—for those who battle quietly and alone. My hope is that my words will resonate, inspire, and shed light on the importance of opening up about mental health.
Growing up in Northern Nigeria
My anxiety didn’t spring from a single moment; it was a slow, persistent growth. Life in Northern Nigeria, with its unique blend of ups and downs, played a significant role. Childhood experiences, people, and environments I was exposed to growing up, coupled with emotional loneliness. Growing up and being on the spectrum of autism and dyslexia in a country where discussing topics of mental health is still a novelty has created fertile ground for anxiety to take root.
The Physical and Cognitive Struggles
Anxiety, for me, manifests in various ways. Physically, my heart races, my muscles tense up, and my gut rebels. Trembling, shortness of breath, and excessive fatigue become unwelcome companions. On a cognitive level, my mind races with thoughts, excessive fear and worry take hold, and restlessness becomes a constant companion. Does any of this sound familiar to you or resonate with you?
The tendrils of anxiety reach into every corner of my life. Concentrating on tasks becomes a Herculean effort, productivity takes a nosedive, and my sleep pattern resembles a chaotic dance. Social interactions become challenging, and the simple joys of hobbies and self-care slip through my fingers like sand. Life as I know it feels unlivable, like everything is being taken away from me.
You know, sometimes you get a glimpse of your potential; it is so enormous that it scares you how much you are capable of achieving. But then the biggest villain, that is your anxiety, steps in and messes you up physically and cognitively, making you feel worthless and unable to get the simplest of tasks done. That is what it does to you, and words that can be used to describe this experience are still yet to be invented, so you are stuck with whatever wretched label people around you decide to attach to you.
Identifying Anxiety Triggers
Anxiety has its triggers, and for me, they’re as diverse as the Northern Nigerian landscape. People leaving, loud noises, stressful situations, and social interactions ripple through my emotions. These triggers aren’t just inconveniences; they’re storms that I’ve learned to weather, like coping in solitude.
In the absence of a traditional support system, I’ve found solace in solitude. When triggered, I retreat to the cocoon of my room or seek refuge in excessive sleep. However, amidst these struggles, writing emerges as a powerful ally. Through poetry, I release the pent-up emotions that anxiety fosters. I love expressing myself and healing through poetry, whether I’m writing it or reading other people’s poems that resonate with me.
Someday I will have it in me to make some of my poetry public; call it imposter syndrome😉 but if you have made it to my private Instagram account, you’ve probably gotten a glimpse.
Discovering Healing
As a path to recovery, awareness is the first step toward healing, and my journey with anxiety has been a path of self-discovery. Introspection, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence have become my guiding lights. Understanding myself has empowered me to navigate the turbulent seas of anxiety with more resilience.
The road to professional help is not without its hurdles. In Northern Nigeria, mental health awareness is still in its infancy. Finding a therapist who specializes in unique circumstances is like searching for a needle in a haystack. Cost and cultural disparities add layers of complexity to an already challenging journey.
To those battling their own storms, I offer a simple yet profound piece of advice: sit with your emotions. Identify them, understand them, and embrace them. Knowledge is power, so read more about anxiety. Seek professional help—a daunting task but a necessary one on the path to healing.
Conclusion
As I conclude this narrative, I want you to know that you are not alone. This space is a sanctuary, and your experiences are valid. Please share your thoughts, and let’s build a community where understanding and support thrive. Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness but a courageous step towards reclaiming your life. Remember, in our vulnerability, we find strength.
I want to extend a heartfelt thank you for taking the time to read this blog post. I hope it was informative, insightful, and most importantly, useful to you. Mental health is an important topic that affects us all, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts with you.
If you have any thoughts or comments, I encourage you to leave them in the comment box below. Your feedback is essential to me and helps me create content that is tailored to your needs.
If you found this post helpful, please subscribe to my newsletter for more resources and updates on mental health. You can also reach out to me via email if you have any questions or just want to chat. Remember, taking care of your mental health is important, and you are not alone.
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